Holly (0s):
We're told to count the calories and, and all the things and all the diets. And then the method that we go at it is everything a moderation. We look at it from the perspective of mindful eating or intuitive eating, and then we're told these work and when they don't work that it's our fault. There was researchers at MIT And what they found is that the moment a craving hits, your brain's got about half of a second that it makes the decision, am I going to eat the food? And when your brain makes that decision, it is game on. It is laser focused. All at once is that food. And then we're gonna introduce dopamine into the mix because then dopamine gets released and everyone thinks dopamine. That's the reward chemical. It's like puppies and babies And you know, sunshine, right?
Holly (42s):
But dopamine is actually the anticipation chemical. So in that half of a second, the dopamine is released, that dopamine is released before the food even hits your mouth. So because it is from an anticipation perspective, that's why those cravings feel so automatic and so obsessive because your brain has already started that process. The more decisions that we make during the day, the weaker our ability to resist cravings.
Brian (1m 8s):
This week I interviewed former FBI chief of staff for counterintelligence turned Certified Holistic Health Coach Holly Bertone. We discussed how Holly overcame emotional eating for years, along with how to stop the cycle of restricting, binging, and beating yourself up. Why willpower doesn't work to control your eating, how to identify your number one emotional and stress eating trigger and much, much more. I really enjoyed my interview with Halle. I know you will too. Thanks so much for listening and enjoy the show. All right, Welcome to the Get Lean, Eat Clean podcast. My name is Brian Gryn and I have Holly Bertone and welcome to the show.
Holly (1m 43s):
Thanks so much, Brian, for having me, and I'm excited to connect with your listeners.
Brian (1m 46s):
Yeah, excited to have you on. We'll get all into it. I know you're have some background that's a little bit different than what you do today, right? Absolutely. For FBI, chief of staff for the counterintelligence and turn into certified holistic health coach, right?
Holly (2m 1s):
100%.
Brian (2m 3s):
How did that, I know you know, you 20 years in the government, so how did you sort of make that transition and, and why?
Holly (2m 9s):
Yeah. I actually wanna get into my story because it is such a great story, but before I do, Brian, really what I wanna tell you is, and, and make sure your listeners understand, is how much effort you put into your show. I mean, you've got over 400 episodes, you've got amazing topics and amazing guests, and I just really wanna encourage your listeners to leave you a five star rating and review so that you can reach more people. I left my five star rating and review this morning, and it would really mean a lot if your listeners did that too.
Brian (2m 40s):
I appreciate you. Thank Yeah, it's like, I, I don't, I ask for that a lot, but I appreciate you bringing that up, so thank you. Yeah,
Holly (2m 47s):
Yeah, absolutely. And you know, and I know you kind of target the, the, the midlife, you know, kind of clientele here on, on the, on the, on the podcast And, you know, your listeners may have asked themselves at one point is, you know, how can I be smart and successful? It risen to the top of my career. I've got a great family pillar of my community all because of those, the systems and the habits and the discipline. But those same strategies, number one, they're not gonna work with losing weight. But more so than that, And you know, and, and my expertise is in emotional eating is when you've got this constant food noise, this, this food noise that's there from the time you wake up to the time you go to bed, and it comes with these obsessive cravings and these mindless snacking and just constantly reaching for the snacks.
Holly (3m 34s):
And I know what this is like because I am a recovered emotional eater of over 40 years, and I am here to break the stigma because there are so many high achievers who, you know, have these amazing lives, but then have this kind of secret hidden thing that happens behind the scenes. You know, reaching, reaching for those snacks. And from my perspective, I was 150 pounds at one point and I was 110 pounds at one point. So, and it didn't matter how much I weighed because I would eat my emotions on literally on a daily basis. And, and I'll give you a perfect example of this. When I was at the FBI, you know, high stress, high stress job, so I was a chief of staff, I was in program management.
Holly (4m 19s):
I wasn't an agent, but, you know, still supporting all of the agents and, and still a lot at stake. And I would dump out m and ms on my desk and I'd color code them and I would speed eat them with my left hand. And then I would crank out the, the PowerPoint decks with my right hand. I would literally work as fast as I could and I would eat as fast as I could. But fast forward, and, and I'll share my breaking point with you, and this was years after I had resigned from the FBI, I was already a health coach. And every Thursday I started obsessing about Friday because as a health coach I was disciplined Monday through Friday afternoon, 100%, you know, eating clean, completely disciplined.
Holly (5m 0s):
But then Friday, Saturday and Sunday, that was my treat weekend. I treated myself and, and I want your listeners to think about it from this perspective because you kind of get pulled in all these different directions, but then that comfort food, that's the place that takes the edge off. At least that's the place that took the edge off for me. And I love like huge ice cream fan. So mine was salted caramel ice cream, and my thought was going into the weekend, I am going to eat one pint of ice cream, a third on Friday, third on Saturday, third on Sunday. And in my head it makes sense because we're told everything in moderation. So Friday, put the spoon in the container, I'd savor the first bite, savor the second bite, you know, the whole mindful eating thing.
Holly (5m 46s):
And the next thing I knew I had inhaled the entire pint. So I would eat another pint on Saturday, and then I'd eat another pint on Sunday. So this, everything in moderation turned into just everything. And this was every single weekend, but there was one Sunday afternoon that really was the turning point because I had started eating and I just, I inhaled, I didn't even taste it, I just inhaled it and I'm staring at the bottom of another container and my spoon was in that groove, like trying to get that last little bite out, trying to see how long I could make it last, even though I didn't even, I didn't even taste it and I just, I wanted more and I just felt this overwhelming shame because I'm like, I am a health coach.
Holly (6m 33s):
What, what am I even doing? I, I can't even, I, I mean, I just would take a bite and inhale the entire thing. Like that's not, like, that's not normal. That's not okay. You know, I can't eat a few bites and, and, and put it back in the freezer. I'm like, Holly Bertone, like, what are you doing? And that shame was suffocating because I felt that as a health coach, I should be leading better. And you know, and it's one of those things where I had always justified it. I EATCLEAN during the week, I, you know, I deserve the, the treat, I deserve the reward. And it's almost like I was putting on these appearances to the outside world. You know, I am a health coach and everything is perfect and my life is perfect, but behind those closed doors, it was just, I was just a hotness express.
Holly (7m 20s):
I mean, I just, I did not want anyone to find out. And what I did is I went upstairs and I walked into my closet and, and I did kind of a 360 and I looked at all of the clothes that I absolutely love, but I wasn't wearing because they were too tight and not too tight from the perspective of I need to go buy new clothes. Like they, they still fit, but they were just really tight and really uncomfortable. And I realized how just frumpy and flabby I had become. And I went back to that time when I was, you know, 40 pounds overweight and, and remembered how much I just hated looking at myself in the mirror, like how fat I looked.
Holly (8m 1s):
And I went back to that time I had gone through breast cancer and autoimmune disease And what those diseases did to my body and how much I hated my body for that. And I vowed in that moment, I was like, I am not going back to that place ever again. Like never again. Something has to change.
Brian (8m 19s):
So you sort of caught this breaking point and then what did you do to sort of get out of that and break free from it?
Holly (8m 26s):
Yeah, so I was, I was realizing as I was kind of going through this process that it wasn't just me. I mean, it's all the women that I was working with and I put on my FBI hat, you know, I, I, you know, had long since resigned, but I put that FBI hat back on and I really started that investigative process because I'm like, okay, the weight loss, the diet industry, they tell us, they tell us it's about the calories, they tell us it's about the cardio. They tell us it's about the food and the macros and all of these things, but we also need to look at getting those root, the, the root cause triggers. We have to address them, we have to get 'em under control. We have to look at what is driving those automatic eating patterns, what's driving our behaviors and those patterns control everything.
Holly (9m 15s):
And that's when I was like, you know, we, I need to change. We need to change, like we need to kind of go back to this, this root cause. And that really changed the way that I coach because, you know, I mean I, I had always coached from that place of having the certifications on my wall and I just did what they told me to do from everything that I learned, right? But that changed from the perspective of, okay, let's start pulling in the skills that I learned from FBI counterintelligence, the analyzing the patterns, we're gonna counter the threats, we're gonna neutralize the threats along with the brain science of neuroplasticity and looking at that and then looking at that from the perspective of also how I fought my own food monsters.
Holly (9m 56s):
Like that's, that's when we started to strike gold.
Brian (9m 58s):
Yeah. And so like I know you talk about like this three step process, see it, stop it, shift it. Yeah. So maybe give an example of that and how, how that process works.
Holly (10m 10s):
Yeah. So can we go back before I get into the process? 'cause I really want to talk about what doesn't work before I start talking about what does work is, is that cool if we go there first? Yeah. Okay. So, and I think from the perspective of we're told that, you know, to, to count the calories and, and all the things and all the diets and then the method that we go at it is everything a moderation. We look at it from the perspective of mindful eating or intuitive eating, and we also look at it from the perspective of willpower. And then we're told these work and when they don't work that it's our fault.
Holly (10m 51s):
And you know, and, and I'm sure some of your listeners have have tried all of these, they're like, why doesn't this work? And what's wrong with me? And here's what I found. And, and I like to kind of say, looking at these three modalities, it's basically like having a SWAT team come in and they're armed with a cabbage patch kid, right? I mean it's just, you've got this, you're, it's supposed to be big and powerful and it ends up being just completely ridiculous. And when you look at it from the perspective of yes, it does work, okay, they do work, but they work on the other side. So if you're struggling with emotional eating, if you have that food noise, if there's that constant just food cravings and obsessive, obsessive food cravings and the mindless snacking, if you're struggling with this, these three are not gonna win.
Holly (11m 39s):
But they are gonna work on the other side of it. So I'm not saying they don't work, I'm saying they work on the other side of it. And the reason is that, so let's look at it from a holistic perspective. There was researchers at MIT And what they found is that the moment a craving hits, your brain's got about half of a second that it makes the decision, am I going to eat the food? And when your brain makes that decision, it is game on. It is laser focused all at once is that food. And then we're gonna introduce dopamine into the mix because then dopamine gets released and everyone thinks dopamine, that's the reward chemical. It's like puppies and babies And you know, sunshine, right? But dopamine is actually the anticipation chemical.
Holly (12m 23s):
So in that half of a second, the dopamine is released, that dopamine is released before the food even hits your mouth. So because it is from an anticipation perspective, that's why those cravings feel so automatic and so obsessive because your brain has already started that process. And then we can also layer in it's baumeister's ego depletion study. Not sure if you're familiar with that or not, but basically what he found was that the more decisions that we make during the day, the weaker our ability to resist cravings. And you know, and and you think about it from that, I mean, it's a cognitive load, right?
Holly (13m 3s):
But when you think about it from the perspective of, okay, when you wake up first thing in the morning, are you raid the pantry? Are those cravings outta control? Well, no, but at the end of the day, they are sitting down watching Netflix, starting on the TV or whatever. You're like, oh, I cannot get enough and let's take this, let's get kind of meta here. So looking at that from the perspective of in, in, in a, in a kind of a micro perspective, like this is on a day to day, but when you think about where we are in our lives in these kind of middle life years, it's, it's almost like a bell curve. So when, you know, when we're young, we don't have all of the demands of life when we're older in retirement, you know, things are also have slowed down.
Holly (13m 50s):
But in midlife that we're at the top of that bell curve. We've got families, we've got career, we've got aging parents, we've got, you know, community. I mean we've got all of these, these responsibilities. And So we have that cognitive load and when we also kind of look at it from a more macro perspective, it totally makes sense that we have these cravings and these kind of food obsession that hit stronger and stronger in these years. Does that make sense? Yeah. So,
Brian (14m 24s):
Okay. So from that standpoint, I, you know, so the things you mentioned before as far as things that don't work and you're talking more around like willpower and things like that. Yeah, correct. So let's just say, let's go into what, what would work And what works that you see with, you know, your software with your clients is that, you know, sort of that three step process that we're gonna talk about to break free from emotional leading. And when you talk about emotional leading, you just mean like if you're stressed or upset or you know, you're trying to overcome it just by eating. And, and this could be in the form of, you know, constant snacking, maybe late night eating. And so if an individual is going through this, what would, what would you say is the best sort of tactic to overcome that?
Holly (15m 10s):
Yeah, so, and 100%, when I say emotional eating, I'm talking about stress, eating, bored, eating, lonely eating. We've got these big emotions of these feelings even reward eating. And instead of seeking comfort from within, we seek comfort from without. And we use food to take the edge off. We use food to not, we use food to comfort or to reward ourselves.
Brian (15m 31s):
Got it.
Holly (15m 32s):
And, and I like to look at it and, and I'm gonna jump into the, the three step process here. And I like to look at it from the perspective of, I grew up in the middle of Pennsylvania. We, I did not learn to parallel park 'cause we didn't have to. I grew up in the country. So I lived in Alexandria, Virginia, right outside of DC for about 20 years. And even though I had to parallel park, I never learned to parallel park. So I would just park like 10 blocks away and walk because it was too scary for me. I was scared to death, I was gonna hit my car, another car, well, in 2021 I bought a brand new Hyundai Kona, and that car has a backup camera. It doesn't have even the the par the park assist.
Holly (16m 14s):
It was just a backup camera. And all of a sudden, overnight I could parallel park. Now I didn't practice it, I didn't get new skills. I just had a tool that allowed me to see better and to ha and with that tool I could see better and I had more confidence and all of a sudden I could parallel park. And that is exactly what we are doing with this three step process's. It's, it's just giving you a tool so that you can see differently. And what we're gonna do is we are going to combine FBI counterintelligence tactics with the brain science of neuroplasticity. So your brain operates like a well-worn path in the woods.
Holly (16m 57s):
So we have decades basically of patterns, beliefs, traumas, experiences, they are embedded, they're embedded in our body, they're embedded in our brain, and we have a well-worn path like path in the woods. And our brain goes down that path. That is the only path that it knows food equals comfort. So when we are seeking comfort, we grab food And what we are doing in step one, step one is see it, we're gonna use FBI inspired pattern analysis. We are going to actually uncover those hidden patterns and be, and those hidden triggers behind the emotional eating to actually understand why at the end of the day, I can't stop eating.
Holly (17m 44s):
Why I'm constantly reaching for the chips, why I'm constantly reaching for the chocolate. But you also kind of have to think about it from the perspective of we are, we're creating a new path in the woods for our brain in order to do that. It doesn't just appear, we've gotta get out our, our work gloves and our boots, you know, wear our work gloves, get dirty, we've got, you know, bushes and brush to cut down. We've got thorns, you know, probably gonna get scratched a few times. There's snakes, there's spiders, right? We literally have to do the work to clear the new path. Okay. So step one is, see it this is, is really just identifying what's there.
Holly (18m 25s):
And I like to, I like to use the analogy of what this actually looks like when this was last year and I had a speaking engagement at MIT and I was getting on the airplane to, to fly to Boston and it was delayed like three hours. So I'm just watching, I'm watching everyone around me how they are acting after that stress of the delay because we all had to get on the plane to get to somewhere there was something important on the other side, everyone is stressed about the plane delay. So I'm, I'm watching at the airport. I know you just got back from travel, you probably saw the same thing. You know, they're either running to Dunking Donuts to get donuts and bagels, or they're running to the bar to start drinking at eight o'clock in the morning.
Holly (19m 12s):
So they have a stressful event and their response was to go to Dunking Donuts or to go to the bar. And that's exactly what, see it is now my, see it was me watching them, but that's exactly how you can use that same introspection to learn how to do this for yourself. So
Brian (19m 32s):
It's almost like just, you know, being self-aware of, of it.
Holly (19m 35s):
Exactly. Okay. Exactly. So that's, that's step one is see it, step two is stop it. This is where we are going to learn FBI inspired tactics. We are going to interrupt that cycle in real time and we are going to stop those cravings before they even take over. So when you think about it, your, your brain is walking up to that path in the woods and you have a choice. You've got the, the fork in the path. You can go down that, that same old familiar path that your brain always goes down or you can start taking the new path. But the new path is still under construction. It's, it's not familiar yet. Right? So what we are doing at that fork is we are teaching our brain to just stop, to be able to see what's going on, to evaluate the situation and to make an informed choice.
Holly (20m 26s):
And we do that with what's called countermeasures. And we use these in FBI, counterintelligence and countermeasures. All they are is strategic actions. They are going to prevent the threat before it happens. So that's what we are doing here for emotional eating. We are using tactical interventions at that fork in the road to intercept those cravings. So,
Brian (20m 47s):
And what would be something Yeah, And what would be something like that?
Holly (20m 50s):
Yeah, so, so you've got, let's go back to the dopamine. Okay? You've got remember that half a second, remember the dopamine, okay, this is what we are doing is, is when that happens, that half a second, that dopamine we're saying, hang on, time out rather than that automatic response, we are going to do something different. Okay? And, and I like to think about it from the perspective of potty training a puppy. You know, you take the dog out what, once an hour, right? The puppy out once an hour so it doesn't feel on the carpet. So this is exactly what we are doing with our brain. We are literally potty training our brain And you know, you can use any kind of, you know, a lot of people like the 62nd method to just stop, to just breathe for 60 seconds to just say, what is my body feeling right now?
Holly (21m 38s):
And to identify what that actually is. And it's also not just what is my body feeling, but what does my body actually need? I do, I do some mentoring for Go Girls Go, which is like girls on the run, fourth and fifth grade girls. And I actually, a couple weeks ago I taught them the lesson between belly hungry and brain hungry. So are we belly hungry? Are we actually starving? Like do we need food or are we brain hungry? Are we craving something else?
Brian (22m 9s):
Yeah. And I I people use the term like starving and I never liked that term because we don't know. And living in where we live in the lifestyles, like people don't really understand what true hunger is. Oh yeah. I, I, you know, I can't even explain that and I never like using that. But anyways, so that's a yeah,
Holly (22m 27s):
Sorry, it just, it's a familiar phrase, so
Brian (22m 29s):
No, yeah, no, nothing against that. Yeah, I was just saying like that, that people throw that out, it's like, anyway, so, but so being aware of it and then, and then, you know, see it, stop it. So stopping it, that's just a matter of giving yourself a little bit more time. Yes. Right. Because like you said, there's a certain ti you know, if, if you react right away, if you're then like, you know, to those cravings or whatever, then you sort of somewhat give it in, I guess if you can call that, I know you don't talk about, you know, necessarily willpower, but maybe is it like more of less like just being aware and then almost like distracting yourself in a different way?
Holly (23m 6s):
Yes, 100%. Once you're aware, there's a bunch of different tactics that I use with my clients and they are, they're distraction tactics means similar to taking, you know, potty training a dog, instead of letting the dog pee on the carpet, you take them out, you take them out to, to outside and give them a treat when they, when they go potty. And, and we're pretty much doing that, that exact same thing. It's, it's distraction techniques. We, we use different, you know, NLP techniques and, and things like that to, and, and what's, what's really interesting, and, and this happens so consistently is right about that 10 or 10 or 14 days, about 10 days, two weeks into, into coaching, coaching. And they'll come back to me and they'll be like, and, and it's always the same thing, Holly, I was bad.
Holly (23m 50s):
Which I'm like, oh, cringe, okay, we're not gonna, we're not gonna label, it's not a morality thing, but tell me what happened. And they, and there's like, I ate, you know, two cookies, or I ate, you know, a few chips or you know, whatever. And they say, and I put it down and I realized I didn't actually want it. And I was like, okay, that's actually that, that's a win. The win is in the awareness. The win is like, okay, I was aware of what I was doing. Because when you're aware, when you're actually noticing that pattern, you're like, oh, I just put it down just automatically you're like, like that's the win. And, and it, it's, it takes a while for them to actually understand that because we have been so programmed, oh, I ate, you know, I talk about like, you know, what's there, our words matter, right?
Holly (24m 34s):
So programmed, I ate the cookie, I was bad, right? I ate the cupcake, I was bad. And yeah. And, and that win is in the awareness because when you have that awareness, when you're like, I'm putting it down, that is gonna get you one more step closer to the solution.
Brian (24m 50s):
Got it. Yeah. I mean, I'm curious your thoughts, I mean, 'cause sometimes I'll talk with people about, I mean, you've pretty much used the example of snacking and I mean, I mean, I'm not like a big fan of snacking either, but a lot of times I feel like sometimes that can stem from people not eating enough during their actual meal Yep. And fulfilling themselves with like, quality, like nutrient dense foods. And that's when I think snacking can start to grow. Not for everybody, but so that's just something that I tend to talk about with, with clients and with other people on the show.
Holly (25m 22s):
100%. And you know, and that is, that is another part of the equation is that, you know, typically we're under fueling ourselves, you know, and I work, I work, you know, pretty much with, with women and especially midlife women are on average 50 grams of protein deficient a day. So, you know, so if we're not fueling ourselves with whole nutritious foods, it's actually going to exasperate those cravings, right. And that snacking.
Brian (25m 51s):
Yeah. Yeah. I mean obviously you working with a lot of women, I'm sure you see these women are eating a thousand calories. I know you're not a big calorie person, but like just in general, a thousand, 1200 calories and been doing this for a long time. Right. So they've been restrictive eating, you know, which obviously can affect hormones and, and lead to over snacking. Although I would say if someone is eating a thousand calories, I'd probably say you should probably snack, you know, to some degree or eat, eat more as opposed to just restricting all the time. But that's a Yeah,
Holly (26m 23s):
Yeah. So, so anyway, so we've got see it, stop it, and then the third step is shift it. This is where we're actually going to rewire those automatic responses because we want a healthier, effortless relationship with food. And so many women come in and, and they view it's that food is this us versus them kind of mentality, not realizing that you were, were just talking about like food is supposed to nourish you, you know? And, and this is where when you think about the path in the woods, that new path that we just created that path is now the shiny path. That is the path that your brain wants to go down. And then that old path for those decades of patterns and beliefs, that's the one that's now overgrown. So your, your brain's coming up and your brain's like, okay, let's just go down to the new path.
Holly (27m 6s):
And looking at it from the perspective. And, and I've actually heard this same story in different iterations. So so many women, they, you know, they go on a diet and they ask their spouse, please don't bring home the cupcakes, the cookies, the chips, the, you know, whatever their trigger food is. And you know, there's, I'm on a diet, you know, don't bring home the food. Well, their spouse brings home the food and they come home, they had a hard day. So they're already in that head space where I need food for comfort, I had a hard day. And then they see those cupcakes on the counter and they just go right to 'em. It's just automatic. So they have two or three cupcakes, and then they're like, oh, and they get mad at themselves, but they take it out on their spouse.
Holly (27m 51s):
So then they yell at their spouse, like I told you, you know, you don't respect me. All these things, right? And they get upset with the spouse because the spouse brought home the cupcakes. But what this part of the process looks like step three shifted, is when you can come home from that hard day and that trigger food is on the counter and it does absolutely nothing for you. It's just there, you may decide to have a bite, you may not, But it doesn't have that control over you. I was actually just talking to a new client yesterday and she was like, the, my office, the break room in the office. She's like, it is just a cesspool. She goes, I can't go in there because when I do, all I do is eat.
Holly (28m 33s):
So, so it's, it's being able to be in front of those trigger foods and those trigger situations and not having that same reaction. Yeah. There was actually, oh, oh, go ahead. No, I, no, go ahead. No,
Brian (28m 46s):
I was just gonna say, you know, a lot of people are working from home now, you know, and I think that could be good and bad because you have a little, technically you probably have a little more, obviously you have more control of what's going in your house as opposed to being in the office where your coworker could bring in these, these, you know, un serving snacks or whatever. So yeah, I mean obviously if you don't buy it, you're not gonna eat it. That's easier said than done for people. But anyways, yeah. So I try to, we try to just buy things that serve us in, in a healthy way. That's not to say you can't occasionally splurge, but like yeah. In the office, that could be a different story. 'cause then you, then you have other people bringing in food, so Yeah.
Holly (29m 24s):
Yeah. Well, and even, you know, and, and I used to be that too. I, I mean, I was like, okay, we're just not gonna bring it in the house. But then I would find some way to make it happen, even if we didn't have the quote unquote junk food in the house. I would take peanut butter and then I would take the chocolate chips, like the Nestle chocolate chips, and I would just get a, you know, keeping teaspoon tablespoon of peanut butter, dump it with chocolate chips and just keep, I mean, I would go through four or five of them, which yeah, again,
Brian (29m 50s):
Sounds good to me. But it's a lot.
Holly (29m 52s):
Yeah. But again, this was, this was, this was how I came to this place was that, you know, I, I've been through a lot with, with, you know, really just addressing my, my food monsters. So what I was gonna ask you, Brian, are you familiar with Allison Wood Brooke's karaoke study? 'cause this is really cool. No, no, not so she's, so she's at a Harvard Business School And what she did, and she brought in three groups of individuals, and she had them sing karaoke to Don't Stop Believing. I mean, they're just the best eighties anthem, right? So she, the, So they had the three groups. So we had the control group, and the control group just sang. She had a group that repeated the phrase, I'm nervous, I'm nervous, I'm nervous.
Holly (30m 33s):
Before they went into sing. And then the third group would say, I'm excited, I'm excited, I'm excited. And we know I'm nervous and excitement are basically the same emotions, just different sides of the coin. So what was really interesting was the control group, the neutral group had about a 69% accuracy into the, into the karaoke machine on, on the words and the song, the group that said, I am nervous. They were at a 53% accuracy, but the group that said, I'm excited, they were at an 80% accuracy. And what this means, this is, this is where we're really looking at, at the prefrontal cortex.
Holly (31m 15s):
This is our impulse control, this is decision making, this is self-regulation. And what the study shows is that, I mean, this was just so simple. It was just two words and it changed the results. So, you know, when we talk about rewiring your brain, like it is, it is absolutely possible, you know, and, and especially working with decades of, you know, not getting it, you know, not being able to see results, not getting it right, having all these diets, quote unquote fail. And yeah, it is possible. So many people are like, I don't even know if I can do this anymore. I'm like, yes, you can. It is possible.
Brian (31m 50s):
Yeah. So like the self-talk, like what you're telling yourself. Yeah.
Holly (31m 55s):
Yeah. That makes, that makes sense. And I like, and I like to think of this phase as so, and, and you have kids, right?
Brian (32m 3s):
No dogs. Oh,
Holly (32m 4s):
You don't have kids. Oh, okay, sorry. So I raised my stepson since he was five, and so he is like 22 now. But when he was a little guy, I would, he would, I would say, go brush your teeth. And what he would do is he would totally fake me out. You know, he is like, oh yeah, I brush my teeth. But he would put his toothbrush underwater and say, oh yeah, I brush my teeth. Right? So getting kids to brush their teeth, like it is so hard, like they hate doing it. But fast forward, we're adults. Like, we just brush our teeth. We don't have to put, you know, affirmations up on the, on the bathroom mirror to brush our teeth. We just brush our teeth. Right? But here's, here's the thing too that I think it's important to drive home is that it's not just that we brush our teeth automatically.
Holly (32m 50s):
Let's say we're having one of those mornings and we're late getting outta the house, you know, can't find your phone, can't find your keys, can't find your glasses, glasses, you know, all the things, you know, get in an argument with your spouse, whatever, and you are still gonna leave that house. Your teeth are gonna be brushed non-negotiable. And there's probably gonna be coffee in your hand too, right? Somehow the coffee gets made, the coffee gets in your mug and your teeth get brushed. Like it is a non-negotiable. And that is the goal to get to that place where food is just food, where we can look at food from either an a, a place of neutrality or from a place of it's there to nourish me.
Holly (33m 34s):
You know? It is there to, to, to fuel my body in all of the healthy ways versus this battle of food, having the morality of good or bad. And then I have this morality of good or bad. So that is the ultimate goal.
Brian (33m 48s):
Yeah, no, that, that makes a lot of sense. And so the, the, the model for a lot of emotional eating is obviously being aware of it. And once you're aware of it, like sort of shifting your focus to perhaps something else or an alternative, would you say that like, you know, one, one, I don't know, thought would be like if you're, you know, you've cravings for certain things, like eating something similar that's maybe a little bit healthier for you, you know, as opposed to like snacking on junk food, maybe you snack on like a bowl of strawberries.
Holly (34m 23s):
Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. Okay. Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. And, and what's interesting, even just to kind of bring it back to the ice cream story that I talked about in the beginning is that I have ice cream in the freezer now, And, you know, I do a lot on Instagram and every once in a while I'll do, I'll put a reel together and it'll have ice cream in it. And every once in a while I'll even take a bite And, you know, and I actually haven't had sugar now. And I would say over a year, probably closer to two years, and, and I would say caveat outside of taking a bite on Instagram, but I could take that bite, film the reel on Instagram and put it back in the freezer and not even think about it.
Brian (35m 4s):
Sure.
Holly (35m 5s):
And like, that is so powerful of what is possible with this process.
Brian (35m 12s):
Yeah. Sounds great Holly, And what would you say, I like to ask this question to all my guests. What would you say, like, one thing that maybe you've changed your mind on from like 10, 15 years ago that has to do with, you know, health related things?
Holly (35m 24s):
Oh my goodness. Such a great question. I like to think of everything that I do today as fueling not just today, but the next 20, 30 years. So I'm 53 years old and, and I like to think, okay, what is my 80-year-old self? What is the quality of life that I want my 80-year-old self to be? I actually just over the weekend, I ran into one of my, one of my father's friends, and I was like, oh, hey, how's your spring going? She's 82 years old. And she said, oh, I just got back from a mission trip. I went down to rural Virginia and we built a ramp for a disabled veteran so he could get into his house with his wheelchair.
Holly (36m 5s):
She's 82 years old. I was like, this is what I wanna be doing at 82. Like, I wanna just be able to go and go and go and say yes and do all the things that I wanna do. I wanna, you know, run around with, you know, great grandkids And you know, go on vacation And, you know, dance, I mean, whatever, right? Like everything from, from what I eat and strength training and just how I feel, my stress levels, my sleep, everything that I am doing today is for my future 80-year-old self.
Brian (36m 35s):
Yeah, no, that's, I love that. And I know you mentioned you have like a little gift for listeners today. What, what, what was, what's the gift
Holly (36m 44s):
I do and, and yeah, Brian, I wanna do something very special for your audience since, you know, they're just such an amazing, amazing audience and they stayed here till the end. So this is, this is for you and, and it men and women both, but I, I work, you know, predominantly with, with women, this is gonna be for you if you are not in control around food, if you feel like you're stress eating and mindlessly snacking if you're hijacked by those food noise and, and the cravings. And it's called the Emotional Eating tactical blueprint. So it's got two things. So the first gift, it's a personality and psychological analysis. So it's, it's actually really cool. You're gonna uncover your number one emotional and stress eating trigger.
Holly (37m 25s):
And everyone on the other side of this is like, this is scary, accurate. So it actually is a, like a full, I mean, it's called a quiz 'cause that's easy, okay. But it literally is a psychological analysis. It's really cool. And then the second part of the blue, the blueprint is what I reserve just for my client. So it's actually behind the, the, the behind the system, but totally free for your, for your listeners. And it's called the Crime Scene Files. It's the emotional eating edition. And this is where you actually get those, those tactical tools to intercept the triggers. And it's designed, this is really cool, it's designed true crime style. So if you love the True Crime Podcast and the CSI and the Law and Order TV shows, you're gonna get totally geeked out with this.
Holly (38m 7s):
So if you want the emotional Eating tactical blueprint, again totally free, you can go to my Instagram and it's my name, it's Holly Bertone, and it's B-E-R-T-O-N-E, Holly Bertone. And just DM me the word Blueprint. Blueprint and I will send it over to you.
Brian (38m 25s):
Excellent. Yeah. And I'll put a link in the show notes so people can find you on Instagram. Oh, perfect. Yeah, Instagram on your website, is that just your name? Is
Holly (38m 34s):
That right? Yeah, just Holly Bertone dot com.
Brian (38m 36s):
Excellent. Well, this was great. Anywhere else, those are the main two places to find you. Instagram website. Yeah. I appreciate you coming on and, and talking about emotional eating and, and stress triggers and things like that. And I'm sure, obviously as you know, this is something that can bog a lot of people down, so I think, you know, like you mentioned, being aware of it is the first step and yeah, I, I appreciate you coming on.
Holly (38m 59s):
Yeah, thanks so much for having me.
Brian (39m 1s):
All right. Have a great day. Thanks for listening to the Get Lean Eat Clean Podcast. I understand there are millions of other podcasts out there, and you've chosen to listen to mine and I appreciate that. Check out the show notes at Brian Gryn dot com for everything that was mentioned in this episode. Feel free to subscribe to the podcast and share it with a friend or family member that's looking to get their body back to what it once was. Thanks again, and have a great day.
